I have a VTXr 1800It would help if you listed what VTX you own. If your bike will shift "if I tap lightly on the toe shifter" I'm puzzled what your problem is, as it's supposed to shift just that way. Perhaps you meant to add "without pulling in the clutch" to the statement?
The 1300 has a manual clutch and the 1800 has a hydraulic clutch. If you own the 1300 make sure it is adjusted properly. If you own an 1800 there isn't much you can easily do for adjustments, but at least make sure your clutch fluid level is topped full. Here is a 'how to' video for the VTX 1300 clutch adjustment: